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Joleen and Mitchell Julis (at right)
Mitch and Joleen Julis May Have Set the World Record for Biggest Residential Real Estate Writedowns
Joleen and Mitch Julis of Canyon Partners had the bright idea of buying an NYC fixer-upper at 432 Park Avenue and figured they could make a score. Instead, they outdid their recent massive loss at 1109 Calle Drive in Beverly Hills when they had to drop the price $17 million to sell. Their schemes just ain’t working out. Massive failure after massive failure. Does Mitch Julis only make money in real estate when he steals from borrowers?
Here's the story of the Julis's most recent massive loss. If you’re unfamiliar with the 432 Park Avenue building, it has been “likened to a middle finger”.
They bought 432 Park Avenue #79 in 2016 - in the infamous building widely known for its leaks, creaks and breaks - Joleen and Mitch hired local NY architects to fix it. But they got in a fight. Mitch has only been involved in a few hundred lawsuits so how could that have happened?
Needing to hide their involvement, the Julis’s plotted to use their secretive entity, 432 Crotona Park Avenue LLC. Cary MacMiller at Gelfand, Rennert and Feldman in LA is their go-to man for stealthy deals. Could it be that they use a hush-hush entity so prospective buyers don’t learn it’s the Julis’s and run? Hmmm…
Mitch Julis and Architect Hiroshi Sugimoto
All that secrecy still hasn’t prevented their greedy ambitions from going right down their seven toilets. After the Julis’s got in fights with their architect, they apparently needed to go all the way to Japan to find architect Hiroshi Sugimoto for 432 Park Avenue #79. Did every architect in America refuse to work with Joleen and Mitch Julis? Hard to say.
432 Park avenue #79 Kitchen (at right)
Mitch and Joleen Julis Turn Around and List the Unit for $135 Million
Anyway, Joleen and Mitch Julis were looking for their typical, huge and unjustified windfall. So they turned around and listed 432 Park Avenue #79 for $135 million. You’re not gonna believe this! Nobody wanted it. Shocker.
After sucking wind for a while, Joleen and Mitch dropped the price to the very affordable amount of $92 million. Probably figured people were clamoring to get it then.
The spin was that the unit is special – no grating noises like the rest of the building, which has walls “that creak like the galley of a ship”. The “elements of the apartment” – whatever that means - are supposed to move with the building. Yeah sure.
“Residents at 432 Park complained of creaking, banging and clicking in their apartments, and a trash chute that ‘sounds like a bomb’ when garbage is tossed…” “Metal partitions between walls groan” and there is a “ghostly whistle of rushing air in doorways and elevator shafts.” Doesn’t sound too hoity-toity but what do you expect for the bargain basement price of $92 mill?
432 Park Avenue #79 Picture (at left)
Who wouldn’t want Towada (to what a???) Tuff Stone and Shikkui (pronounced shit too???) plaster walls? There’s a sucker born every day, right? After all, that could be the slogan for Canyon Partners.
432 Park Ave Has 20% of The Units for Sale
With a whopping 20 units now on the market at 432 Park Avenue (or roughly 20% of the building), could it be that Joleen and Mitch’s greedy dreams wouldn't come true? Boo-hoo. By the pictures, if they corral a sucker, that dude has to fix up the fixer-upper that the Julis’s allegedly fixed up. What a mess...
Wood Bathtub
Don’t worry, they might throw in the studios at 29B and 29C too. Those were slated for the servants. But if you get suckered into buying #79, while you’re re-fixing the fixer-upper, plan on slumming it with the help for a while.
TikTok Comments Are Hilarious
Even the mere commoners on TikTok aren’t impressed, “bedrooms are giving Swedish prison vibes”; “why is no one asking what a brown leather lounge chair is doing next to the toilet in the primary bath”; “I’ve seen this apartment so many times on tiktok I’m convinced it’s never going to get sold 😂”;“It’s truly horrendous. The amount of time it has been on the market will tell you the Japanese theme is not working”; “Looks like a cold office building”… Those are just some of the 5,480 comments. Check out TikTok for hundreds of other hilarious ones.
Joleen & Mitch Should Win the World Record for the Most Planted PR Stories That Accomplished Nothing
If you’re wondering how it ended up all over TikTok, in Mitch and Joleen’s failed scheme to extract tens of millions of profit from an ultra-rich person who likes their taste (way harder than finding a needle in a haystack), they went absolutely crazy with PR. Must have cost a pretty penny. Galerie Magazine, the New York Times, the Robb Report, Mansion Global, Architectural Digest and many more. Joleen and Mitch should win the world record for the most planted PR stories that accomplished nothing. All that fluff just ain’t enough.
Planter at 432 Park Avenue #79
Speaking of plants. With regard to the unit’s incredibly weird, long planter thing, the Real Deal aptly noted, “The image seems out of place, borderline absurd…”
Now Available for Direct Purchase
Hedge Fund Scum: True Stories About Canyon Partners
There’s a full book available too. It has Mitch Julis’s picture on the cover. Mitch thinks it portrays him in an unflattering light. Maybe he would have preferred it with his planter thing next to him.
At $29.95, the book is a lot cheaper than 432 Park Avenue #79 and much more important to view.